Friends

Living on campus provides a different cultural view between male and female friends...of all ages. One thing I've really noticed--as have my Western colleagues--is the close relationship among friends of the same gender.

It is very common to see women walk arm in arm and hand in hand. I see this with many female students in the classroom--this expression of closeness of their friendship is often displayed. It's also normal, but less common, to see male friends walk with one arm over the other's shoulder and sometimes hand in hand. And, I am told when it rains male friends share an umbrella and walk with each other's arms over the other's shoulders. Clearly, these represent different cultural behavior patterns than friends in the Western world.

I find this practice heart warming. As I watch these friends walk very closely together it's clear to me they share a very strong bond...perhaps a result of living, schooling and as part of the collectivism of the Chinese culture. They are truly friends for life. I've also noticed this closeness in our Chinese friends at our International Education school. On our way back from lunch today, two women colleagues whom I've had the wonderful opportunity to work with walked arm in arm quietly talking with each other. As I looked back and remarked that clearly they enjoy each others' company, Brittania said, "Yes, they are very, very close."

Being an 'outsider' and 'foreigner' to this culture I wondered if at some point I might be afforded this same level of friendship. I'm amazed. I have been on three occasions with three different Chinese women friends...here's one story.

The woman who I posted a note about as the 'lady with the key' who opens my classroom door and liberates my PC from its wooden box is one person I refer to. This morning I arrived a bit earlier than normal with the intention of taking a few photos of my classroom. Entering the hall, I saw her and we exchanged our smiles. Then it hit me, why not ask if she would pose for a photo beside the sign I wanted to capture. Making hand motions with my camera and her and pointing to the sign she quickly understood my gestures. Total delight spread across her smiling face. I think if I had told her she just won a million RMB she couldn't have been more elated. After posing for the photo she ran up, grabbed my arm and escorted me, arm in arm, down the long hallway and stopped at my door.

She beamed. I beamed. Clearly, she and I have developed a special kind of friendship that transcends language.